It seems like these days that everywhere you turn, someone wants to Fix You, Right? 
Maybe you have found yourself watching that info-mercial late at night that promises to fix you or that “new and improved” faster than ever diet plan that guarantees to be your new quick fix? Even at Church…they want to fix you. I am sure that you know what I mean. It is everywhere!
For a long time in my life I really believed I was broken. There were many things that felt like they were not working and I did not like myself very much. I got it in my head that I wasn’t enough, I didn’t measure up and it really was about someone else “fixing” me. I knew that I would once again be ok, if only that next thing fixed me. I was constantly on an exercise program, a self-help program and doing everything I could to feel like I measured up. There were grueling diets, even to the point that I went five full years in a row, without having dessert or treats during the Holidays. That meant from Halloween to after New Years I did not have candy, treats, desserts, or fattening foods….that included Thanksgiving and Christmas! On several occasions you would hear my children say things like, “She doesn’t eat sweet stuff, she doesn’t like it” or “When my Mom is skinnier, then she can have some of that.” But here is the really pathetic part, I was not even 20 pounds over weight. In fact, most of that time I was under the weight limits according to the doctor charts. For some of you, you cannot relate to this at all. For others, I know you get it. It did not help that I had Modeled before and even after having my first son. I am 5’10″ tall and I modeled a size 5 or maybe a 7. This did not give me a very great idea of what reality should be! But none the less, it was real for me and caused me a lot of pain.
I do not tell you that for any other reason than for you to recognize how out of whack it was. I seriously held myself to an unrealistic standard and felt broken when I was not hitting the mark. In your own life do you look at things within yourself that you feel are possibly broken, or are not exactly what you want? Maybe you are not as great as your friend who just had four surgeries to look like Barbie…..are you even being fair to yourself? Are your standards for yourself unrealistic for any human being to even accomplish in the first place? Mine were!
What I have found is that I am not alone in this little game of life. So many women that I have talked with and worked with have similar stories. We have been taught to be critical of ourselves and that we have to live up to unrealistic standards. We have also been taught that we have to be fixed.
Nobody can fix you, but you! You are the only one that can fix you. In reality, I do not even believe that you need to be FIXED!! The truth to all of this is that You are Not Broken! You are perfect just the way you are. It took me a long time in life to even possibly start to let this sink in. What I found was that it was completely about me, and me having the opportunity to be at Choice. I was choosing to put unrealistic expectations out there for myself and then choosing to never give myself credit for any of my accomplishments. All of that cycle just made it worse. Once I chose to believe that I was worth it and I became accountable for my thoughts and actions, making the better choices on how I was going to feel and how I was going to like me started to become much easier.
You are at Choice. Every day you get to make thousands of choices in your life. You are in complete control. You can choose how you want to feel. You can choose if you want to get out of bed. You can choose to Love Yourself or you can choose to belittle yourself. Being critical of ourselves causes so much damage. I know, I lived it for many, many years. I was the Queen of pretend that I am ok!! Life doesn’t have to be this way. Make the Decision to be in control and then choose what you really want.
Loving yourself unconditionally is the only way to Fix Yourself. Nobody can fix that in you, until you choose to do it for you. You have to decide that you are worth it. You have to decide that you are not broken. Making the Decision is the first step to getting yourself on the right track. Making good choices that must be made everyday is what will keep you on track. This is not always easy. But what I can tell you is that it is worth it. This gets to be something that you work on and gradually you get to the point that you figure out, You are not so bad after all!!
The time to be happy is now. Not when you lose the weight. Not when you have a nice car. Not when you are graduated from college and have a fabulous career. If you learn to be happy first, the other things you want in your life will come much quicker. The more you unconditionally love yourself, the more you are capable of unconditionally loving others. By loving yourself, all of your relationships will improve because you will have a bigger capacity to love.
I have loved being able to assist other women to see their value, their beauty & their worth. I think I went for so long in my life without it that when I see other women struggling to really know how wonderful they are it truely hurt me too. If you are one of those women that is struggling with loving yourself, I want you to know that it is possible. I have done it. There are ways to get real results. No more pretend.
Last week I was able to do a workshop with women for a couple of hours. I was amazed as I took them into an experiential training exercise just how much it touched each and every women there. There were many tears shed and many hearts toughed. It did my heart good to be able to really allow those wonderful women to know just how beautiful they are and how much they are loved.
You are Incredible! You are Enough! You are Beautiful! You are Worth It!
I recorded a training a few days ago titled: Yes, it’s Possible to overcome the Tough Challenges with Peace & Serenity. I would love to share it with you. Here is the link to listen to it: http://instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=35301702 It was the first of a series of three. If you would like to join me for the other next two, with no cost to you, send me your name & e-mail either on the home page or the contact Kris page.
Thanks for being here with me!!
With Light, Love & Abundance,
Kris Barney